BACK TO SCHOOL - YES!#%^&*! - UGH!

There is something about the structure of the school year that is so reassuring for me.  Even as a kid, I seemed to feel a sense of security when the school year began. Make no mistake about it, I was not a fan of school itself, just liked the routine of things, the clear expectations, the fall TV RERUN lineup.  The important stuff.

PARENTING GOALS

Now that my own kids are in the 3rd grade and we have had a few years of BACK TO SCHOOL fever, I have started looking forward to the first day.  The anticipation of finding out who their teacher is and which friends will be in their class is exciting.  The start of each new grade is a satisfying measuring stick for their progress.  

This year, we began a new set of challenges in the hopes of inspiring greater independence.  These may be a little revealing as to our progress to this point as parents, but hey, we’re doing the best we can!  When the kids get up at 640AM, their first chore is to make their own beds. We have been dressing ourselves for a couple of years now, so this seemed like a good next step.  

Vivian and I also decided to start with a weekly allowance.  We took the advice of a friend of ours who gives their kids the same amount of money each week as their age.  For Flo and Theo, that means $8.  This came with the expectation that we would no-longer be victims of the dreaded begging for junky toys at the dollar store, Walgreens or Walmart.  They are on their own now!  They are free to spend their money on what they want.  From our perspective, we hope that after buying junk with their own money, they will soon realize that buying junk just gives you more junk!  

Rather than start their responsibilities with a laundry list of chores, we decided to focus on a few items that they needed to complete regularly and their attitude about being helpful members of the household.  Little things like washing their dishes and putting them into the dishwasher after they eat, or getting their own water at bedtime (yes, we have been doing that for them!  Ugh!). Making sure that we don’t get arguments or “but” or anything that adds consistent stress on our relationships as a family.

So far so good. Both kids made their beds and completed their chores as expected with little to no reminders!  Yes!  They responded well to the expectations and to the first week of 3rdgrade. I am sure we will have some bumps in the road this year, but getting off to a good start has been rewarding for all of us.  Now for week 2!

PERSONAL BACK TO SCHOOL

I alluded to this earlier, but back to school is a bit more serious for me than I used to believe. As a kid, the summer meant big changes, literally, as I would move to my father’s house in Sacramento from my mother’s in Chicago for 10 weeks.  Uprooting my life and settling into a whole other household, with different expectations, personalities, surroundings, friends etc, was quite an adjustment.  To this day, the routine that became my childhood summers still has an impact on me.  

Our summer this year was BUSY!  Vivian and I tried to schedule some fun trips and camps for the kids, and we over did it! I squeezed a trip to California with the kids in around the 4thof July, and she took them to South Carolina for her artist in residency.  All in all, I think we, as a family were home less than 2 weeks the entire summer.  

Getting back to a school routine was heavy on my mind for some time as I began to feel overwhelmed by our summer schedule.  I am a faux routine lover.  I like the idea of a routine, only to be able to exercise my free will to change it on a whim.  However, my feathers get ruffled easily when others change the routine or interfere with my fragile plans!  

Today, the morning air is cooler, crisp even, I feel rejuvenated, and ready to have a great fall. Good bye summer - it’s been wild, but now it’s time to move on.